from Fire Coral
Anna Malan Jógvansdóttir
I swear it
if you hold my skull
up to your ear
you can hear the whispering sea
*
the sea: “let my salt air pull you in”
*
I fold my clothes
and lay them in a neat pile
*
bare foot
and rock
touch
as I walk out to the edge
the sea: “death is sweet as sugar seaweed”
*
I see how the sea flows
like blood
a threading of blue veins
beneath white skin
the sea: “I swim in you and you must swim in me”
*
understand
i have to because
*
my sweat smells like salt
my tears taste like salt
the sea:
“listen to my watery sounds
salt blood
while my heart beats”
*
I throw
myself
in
now
*
my
body
breaks
the
surface
I drift in the pale blue
*
death is beautiful
fronds of oarweed billow
while fingers of kelp
caress me
tenderly
*
then the cold grips my skin
and my stomach clenches
and the waves
toss me
against the rocks
*
drowning
is the calmest of all deaths
the sea told me
*
it
was
a lie
*
terror-struck I swim
back to land
my nails scratch against stone
I cut my fingers
blood runs
slowly down the black rock
and I lose my grip
*
I sink mercilessly
farther
and
farther
from
the
light of the sun
*
I lie on the seabed
my skin ice-white
and bruised
eyes staring
empty blue
*
I
am
purple
my
blood
and
the sea
I
am
purple
*
greenish-brown crabs gather
they claw
my cold flesh
and eat through
my chest
*
whelks catch my scent
they crawl through my chest
gorging on my livid muscle
I
am
white
sea slugs slime their way
beneath
my ribcage
my heart wears
its skeleton
as a spiraling shell
over its slimy skin
if you hold my skull
up to your ear
you can hear the whispering sea
*
the sea: “let my salt air pull you in”
*
I fold my clothes
and lay them in a neat pile
*
bare foot
and rock
touch
as I walk out to the edge
the sea: “death is sweet as sugar seaweed”
*
I see how the sea flows
like blood
a threading of blue veins
beneath white skin
the sea: “I swim in you and you must swim in me”
*
understand
i have to because
*
my sweat smells like salt
my tears taste like salt
the sea:
“listen to my watery sounds
salt blood
while my heart beats”
*
I throw
myself
in
now
*
my
body
breaks
the
surface
I drift in the pale blue
*
death is beautiful
fronds of oarweed billow
while fingers of kelp
caress me
tenderly
*
then the cold grips my skin
and my stomach clenches
and the waves
toss me
against the rocks
*
drowning
is the calmest of all deaths
the sea told me
*
it
was
a lie
*
terror-struck I swim
back to land
my nails scratch against stone
I cut my fingers
blood runs
slowly down the black rock
and I lose my grip
*
I sink mercilessly
farther
and
farther
from
the
light of the sun
*
I lie on the seabed
my skin ice-white
and bruised
eyes staring
empty blue
*
I
am
purple
my
blood
and
the sea
I
am
purple
*
greenish-brown crabs gather
they claw
my cold flesh
and eat through
my chest
*
whelks catch my scent
they crawl through my chest
gorging on my livid muscle
I
am
white
sea slugs slime their way
beneath
my ribcage
my heart wears
its skeleton
as a spiraling shell
over its slimy skin
translated from the Faroese by Matthew Landrum and Luciano Dutra