First Touch
between the kitchen and the yard
a pair of watchful eyes
sofa, bolster pillows, refrigerator, also the bed
you enjoy resting
there. Once upon a time we play-pretended
while waiting for your father's car to arrive. you announced that you’re
doctor and I, patient. even without
stethoscope or a milky coat. anatomical illustrations of
the human body in science books
haven't had the privilege of acquainting with Adam and Eve from the Book of Genesis.
in its most ancient and innocent version, it becomes a map
for a middle-of-nowhere that has neither name nor language.
the forbidden fruit you left behind that afternoon before
going home. I used to pleasure myself before letting it trickle down my neck.
nowhere to be found was the other half of me.
two of us
both exceptional
robbers
you never did return.
Horny
lust like memory:
the more it’s imagined and remembered again
the stranger it feels.
lust exacts revenge on language:
because words only create distance
between the storyteller and the story they tell
themselves.
lust recognizes not the way back home:
it is not just address-less
but also map(per)-less.
Two Poems
Hendri Yulius Wijaya
translated from the Indonesian by Edward Gunawan
Read the original in Indonesian
Listen to "Horny" read in the original Indonesian by the author:
Due to an alarming and unprecedented escalation of anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment, queer Indonesians have faced persecutions and (threats of) violence from both the government and general public in recent years. As one of the rare openly-out writers writing and publishing in Bahasa Indonesia and from Indonesia, Hendri Yulius Wijaya has spoken out extensively through articles and commentaries on Indonesian queer movements and anti-LGBTQ+ panics for various national and international media outlets.
Published in 2020, Wijaya’s collection Stonewall Tak Mampir di Atlantis can be seen as a continuation of his courageous effort in resisting oppression and discrimination. Through his poetry specifically, Wijaya not only examines the uniquely Indonesian queer experience at the intricate intersection of ethnicity, religion, nationality, and socio-economic class through a postcolonial and transnational lens, but he also seeks to disrupt and complicate existing Western notions of body politics, sexual liberation, and gender equality.
This background contextualization is essential in understanding Wijaya’s intentions for the project, which in turn has guided my translation approach and process tremendously. As an example, at first glance, the two poems presented here may not come across as overtly socio-political compared to other pieces in the collection. But they very much are, as they speak to the innocence of Desire that is at once primal, human, and universal—before being ensconced by shame and societal judgment and before the policing and criminalization by various authorities.
I’m grateful for the opportunity and privilege to correspond with Wijaya for feedback and clarification during the translation process. His trust and openness have dared me to make certain leaps—such as the last line of “Horny,” along with many others in the collection—that depart from literal translations to better express what I feel is the essence of the individual pieces in their new, English medium or to maintain some of the linguistic and sonic playfulness in the original. In one instance I chose “map(per)-less” as the word “map” has appeared in the poem “First Touch.” This also gestures toward my strategy in bringing back, where possible and appropriate, recurring words and phrases, as though underscoring a motif.
Published in 2020, Wijaya’s collection Stonewall Tak Mampir di Atlantis can be seen as a continuation of his courageous effort in resisting oppression and discrimination. Through his poetry specifically, Wijaya not only examines the uniquely Indonesian queer experience at the intricate intersection of ethnicity, religion, nationality, and socio-economic class through a postcolonial and transnational lens, but he also seeks to disrupt and complicate existing Western notions of body politics, sexual liberation, and gender equality.
This background contextualization is essential in understanding Wijaya’s intentions for the project, which in turn has guided my translation approach and process tremendously. As an example, at first glance, the two poems presented here may not come across as overtly socio-political compared to other pieces in the collection. But they very much are, as they speak to the innocence of Desire that is at once primal, human, and universal—before being ensconced by shame and societal judgment and before the policing and criminalization by various authorities.
I’m grateful for the opportunity and privilege to correspond with Wijaya for feedback and clarification during the translation process. His trust and openness have dared me to make certain leaps—such as the last line of “Horny,” along with many others in the collection—that depart from literal translations to better express what I feel is the essence of the individual pieces in their new, English medium or to maintain some of the linguistic and sonic playfulness in the original. In one instance I chose “map(per)-less” as the word “map” has appeared in the poem “First Touch.” This also gestures toward my strategy in bringing back, where possible and appropriate, recurring words and phrases, as though underscoring a motif.
Hendri Yulius Wijaya is an Indonesian writer and researcher on gender, sexuality, cultural politics, and sustainability. The co-editor of Queer Southeast Asia (Routledge, 2022), he has extensively written and provided commentaries on Indonesian anti-LGBTQ+ panics and queer movements for various national and international media outlets. His academic research focuses on the development of Indonesian queer activism from the 1980s to the present, anti-LGBTQ+ panics, pornography, and sustainability, among other topics. For his long-term engagement with LGBTQ+ rights and sustainability issues, he was invited to deliver the 2023 Tomlinson Memorial Lecture at Nottingham University in the UK. Stonewall Tak Mampir di Atlantis (There’s No Stonewall in Atlantis; Buku Mojok, 2020) is his debut full-length poetry collection.
Edward Gunawan is an Indonesian-born Chinese queer writer and translator now based on Ohlone land in the Bay Area, CA. Awarded the Gabo Prize for Literature in Translation & Multilingual Texts by the journal Lunch Ticket, Edward has authored two chapbooks—the Start a Riot! Prize-winning The Way Back (Foglifter Press, 2022) and Press Play (Sweet Lit, 2020). Their translation work has also been published in Tripwire, The Los Angeles Review, and MAYDAY, and other writings have appeared in TriQuarterly, Aquifer, and The Town: An Anthology of Oakland Poets (Nomadic Press, 2023), among others.
