from “The Loden Cape”

He became quite convinced that moving out of the ground-floor and into the first-floor apartment had been to his advantage. Already in the first few days my back pain let up, Humer said. But I said nothing of this in order to keep them (my children) from exploiting it, because if I conceded even the slightest personal benefit, they would have exploited it. I was suddenly capable of walking more quickly, of bending over and moreover of reaching the floor, which I had not been capable of for decades, he delighted on the whole in this expanded, nearly pain-free mobility on the first floor. But I said nothing of this, Humer said, on the contrary. Furthermore he observed that there was more light on the first floor. You can save on lighting, the air is better, more oxygen, less noise. But the fact that he could no longer keep tabs on the course of business, and thus on the machinations taking place downstairs in the shop, as easily as he could from the ground-floor apartment embittered him. In the first-floor apartment I was completely insulated from the business, this they had been counting on, his son and daughter-in-law, that continually running down from the first floor to check up on the business would not be possible, all of this they took into account, my immobility, the difficulty with which I got up and down those steep stairs. Everything calculated, he said. Calculation and deceit. I was secluded on the first floor, from up there I couldn’t even hear when the bell rang at the shop door, Humer said, which increased my suspicion. With me sitting up on the first floor, the fraud taking place below could unfold without interference, and just how the fraud was unfolding below me, this you will see in the documents I brought along today. Under the destructive influence of his wife, my son was suddenly capable of anything. All of it fortified by lies, says Humer, writes Enderer. A terrific system of concealment, says Humer. Apart from all that, having cleared the initial hurdles, he had been able to get used to the new state of affairs, to life on the first floor. Yet, as he had told me earlier and as I had taken note of long before, writes Enderer, after three months I was advised that I should move out of the first and up onto the second floor, all at once I should move out of the first floor and up onto the second, Humer says, writes Enderer. I am surrounded by hatred, the hatred of my son, the hatred of my daughter-in-law. My walks up and down the Sill are the sole exception, said Humer, writes Enderer, otherwise nothing but hatred for me, the one who’s still there. Word had it that a child was on the way. I feared nothing else, Herr Doktor, said Humer, writes Enderer, as I feared precisely this, that the moment would come when there was talk of a child, once a child is in play, it’s more difficult for a married couple to separate, but even without a child they would not have separated, because my daughter-in-law is of the most calculating sort, said Humer. A child, they said, and with the child there, the currently available living space would no longer suffice, now it was the imminent arrival of a child, first it was a new chemical pulp storeroom, then it was a coffin storeroom, but in contrast to the chemical pulp and coffin storerooms, which were lies, Humer says, the child I actually believed in. Sleepless nights, says Humer, writes Enderer, a child, a child. But I didn’t struggle for long, and on the very same day I moved up to the second floor, the main difficulty, according to Humer, had been getting the furniture up the exceptionally narrow staircase between the first and second floors, in the end however they succeeded in getting all the furniture upstairs, not a second was I in doubt about the child, says Humer, indeed I had to believe in it, the child was already there, as I saw all at once, the child’s already here, so much of this, I said, is so painfully absurd, writes Enderer, whereupon Humer: the grandchild came, though of course I saw no reason why, on account of the grandchild, I should have to move to the second floor, but I’d come to terms with the fact that the move upstairs was permanent, this was my sacrifice, Herr Doktor, Humer says, writes Enderer, even if the reason why was never made clear to me. On the second floor it’s even drier than on the first and the air on the second is even better than on the first and the street noise is hardly audible. But what still held my attention and indeed, having struck upon the machinations of my son and daughter-in-law, what held it with even greater intensity than before was the business downstairs and everything associated with the business downstairs, which, with my being upstairs, slipped even further from my grasp, too arduous to always be running downstairs, says Humer, writes Enderer, too conspicuous, also, to be running down and up again and down again and up again incessantly, and to do so especially, says Humer, beneath those scathing glares! Such being the case, I visited the business only rarely, and when I did, then only for a moment, in order to strengthen my evidence of their suspected fraud, to bring forgeries, says Humer, writes Enderer, into my possession and to make copies in great haste, careful to stay unnoticed, which was most difficult of all because, for their part, my son and my daughter-in-law had long ago become suspicious that I was suspicious . . . by this time my nights were spent solely with these documents, Humer says, as I was left alone on the second floor, completely undisturbed, says Humer, no doubt to my advantage, says Humer, writes Enderer, who suddenly starts shouting: everything falsified! Every bit of it falsified! All the bookwork, falsified! And not, as you might assume, to cheat the financial authorities, no, to cheat me! I was left with no alternative but to turn to you, Humer says to me, writes Enderer. The whole thing has to go to court, to court with all of it, he says, what place is left for consideration when the matter at hand is a conspiracy against one’s own father! Of course, the second floor is most optimal, I thought, without saying anything of the sort. On the contrary. He kept quiet and deftly played the role he had meanwhile come to master: victim. The strain, the inhuman exertion required to climb upstairs to the second floor and then downstairs again from the second floor, this he put up with. No elevators, as you know, no elevators in the Saggengasse, Humer says. I would invite my old friends over to visit me on the second floor, he says, writes Enderer, who not only confirmed him in his suspicion of being cheated, which in light of the myriad evidence now lying on his desk was already obvious, but also encouraged him in his plan to take the whole case to a lawyer, which is to say to court. For years now I could no longer speak of mere suspicion, says Humer, and I credit this to my attentiveness, to my love for the business in the Saggengasse, suddenly he shouted out: no one can deprive me of my love for the business! writes Enderer, then, writes Enderer, Humer sat down in the armchair and wrapped himself, to the extent possible, in the loden cape. Now you won’t get another look at the tailor’s seal, I thought, Enderer writes, all indications point to the fact that the loden cape isn’t coming off again, on the contrary, from now on he will only become more enfolded in the loden cape, will enfold himself more and more in the loden cape, at which point Humer produced a package, bound together with household string, from beneath the loden cape and laid it on my desk. All further proof, all further evidence, he said, writes Enderer. Now take this down, Humer says, writes Enderer, upon which Humer disclosed something for the first time: a week ago I was told suddenly that I should move out of the second floor and into the third floor. My son makes this curious proposal just as I was working through the catalogs for chemical pulp and pressboard. Though it was my son who beckoned me to move out of the second floor, I did not doubt for a second that it was she, albeit through his insolent mouth, that it was my daughter-in-law doing the beckoning. Yes, I said, says Humer, and it was an effort to do so calmly, to keep from getting worked up, yes, which meant out of the second floor and onto the third! And several times he repeated: and onto the third, and onto the third, because a fourth kid, in the meantime two more had been born, was now on its way . . . a fourth kid, Humer says to me, writes Enderer, is that not wrongheaded? Is that not wrongheaded and boneheaded all at once? Several times Humer says to me: is that not the definition of boneheadedness? It’s criminal, a fourth kid! says Humer, writes Enderer. In times like these, I replied, says Humer, writes Enderer, in which overpopulation is in the hundreds of millions, a fourth kid? At this point he claims to have shouted repeatedly: a fourth kid! A fourth kid! A fourth kid! And a fifth kid! And a sixth kid! And a seventh kid! And an eighth kid! And so on! And so on! Multiple times: And so on! And so on! From below I heard the voice of my daughter-in-law, says Humer, writes Enderer, saying: if he won’t move up to the third floor, he’ll have to go to a nursing home! I could hear that from upstairs, says Humer, writes Enderer. And my son says, says Humer: you’re moving up to the third floor. At which point he, Humer, lost control of himself and began screaming as loud as he could: a fourth kid! A fourth kid! Up to the third floor! Up to the third floor! A fourth kid! A fifth kid! etc. and eventually just: Kids! Kids! Kids! to the point of total exhaustion, writes Enderer, then Humer says, writes Enderer: your son doesn’t get you, he doesn’t get you anymore, I had to think, and: look what this woman has turned your son into. Humer then stood up, writes Enderer, and began to walk back and forth across the office, now and again he pointed to the papers he’d brought along, which sat on my desk, and said: all of it triable from top to bottom, all of it triable from top to bottom. All of it bound for criminal court! No turning back, he says, no turning back. Suddenly, says Humer, writes Enderer, I said: no, not onto the third floor, not onto the third. That’s final! Not into those inhuman quarters! I said, Humer says, writes Enderer, not into that dismal crawlspace. Then he took off, to the Sill, and then up and down the Sill for hours, according to Enderer, then Humer, writes Enderer: and by the time I got home, my son had already hauled the greater part of my things up onto the third floor, which is to say into the attic. I saw right away, says Humer, writes Enderer, he has hauled nearly all your things onto the third floor, everything already hauled upstairs. And now they had started, my son and my daughter-in-law, to haul up my furniture from the second floor to the third, and if you live in the Saggengasse, Humer said to me, writes Enderer, then you already know how it looks on the third floor, in the whole Saggengasse the third floors look the same, completely unfit for human habitation, and several more times: completely unfit for human habitation! Spruce it up, make it liveable, they told me, says Humer. And everything had to be done at once, everything at once. Father and furniture alike, Herr Doktor, up into the attic, says Humer, writes Enderer. As a stopgap they set up two folding screens in the attic and then tried to persuade me the attic was now liveable. By the time it gets cold and begins to snow, we’ll have made everything winterproof up here, says my son, says Humer, writes Enderer, then the heating will work up here, says my son. And imagine this, says Humer, the whole time my son and his wife are in the attic moving my furniture back and forth, I am unable to speak, as if I had lost the power of speech, says Humer, I want to, yet cannot speak, I stand there bundled up in the loden cape, unable to speak. And the way I was suddenly forced into silence! says Humer. This horrendous, nauseating attic smell, which I have hated since childhood, says Humer. The mustiness, all filth and must. My son is constantly saying the word remodel, says Humer, writes Enderer, again and again, remodel, install heating. In the end they had all my furniture in the attic and went so far as to make my bed while I was forced to watch, motionless, I was incapable of driving them off, not a step, not a word, says Humer, writes Enderer. During the remodeling I ought to stay with my sister in Hall, they said, says Humer, writes Enderer, in the meantime you will go to Hall, I hear my son say, says Humer. But I was thinking, I’m not going to Hall, not to Hall, not to Hall, I thought. Again and again: not to Hall. And all of a sudden: take it to court! Call on a lawyer and take it to court! and he walked out of the house and up the full length of the Saggengasse and into a hotel on Gänsbacherstraße and made several trips to the Sill and back again and to the Inn and back again and ultimately spent the night at the hotel on Gänsbacherstraße. Twice already he had been here in the Herrengasse and waited for me. Go see this lawyer, he thought to himself, though he didn’t know why, over and over, go see this lawyer, over and over: go see this Enderer. For days now I’ve kept all the documents against my body, Humer says, writes Enderer, hidden at all times beneath the loden cape, this evidence, he says, and then: if these papers aren’t enough! to which I replied, writes Enderer: of course, everything follows from the papers quite seamlessly. To court, to court, again and again he told himself, take my son and my daughter-in-law to court. Suddenly he stood up and walked out, writes Enderer. Herr Humer! I called after him, as I’d forgotten to have him sign over power of attorney, Herr Humer! but by then he was already gone, down below.