MASHA KOVALENKO: 14 years old
KATYA: her mother; 35 years old
PAVEL ALEKSANDROVICH: 30 years old
LIZA (or “LIZ”) KUZNETSOVA: 14 years old
ROMA SINENKO: 14 years old
MAN WITH A MUSTACHE: 45 years old
ACT ONE
SCENE ONE. VIDEO BLOG
LIZA: Hi there! My name is Liz! I’m a typical girl from the town of Chernomorsk, subscribe to my channel. Today I will tell you about a makeup look that you can use for International Women’s Day. If you’re interested, then adjust your setting to 720HD and we’re off! Now the first thing that we need is a concealer. I use Max Factor. And we will repair our defects: any little spots, blackheads, redness, and, of course, the dark circles under the eyes. You can skip this step if you have perfect skin; however, I have some defects, therefore I cover them up. Next, I use a powder from Bourgeois: I apply it with a wide brush, just a tiny, tiny amount, so it looks natural. I also want to create a natural blush, I take rouge from Bourgeois and a little brush from Essence and apply it to the cheeks. So that our eye shadow stands out as much as possible, I apply a base—it’s also from Essence. I apply literally one small drop, that’s enough, and shade it in with my little finger. Now I will take this lilac-violet pencil from the brand Sisley, it has sparkles. And I will make a little preparation, so that it’s easier and more comfortable for us to create this look. I stare straight ahead, and in the corner of the eye, in the outside corner, I begin to paint it in. Then I go to the crease. All right, I’m almost finished, and here’s how it looks on me. Now I take a little brush from Limoni and begin to shade it in, creating a kind of haze. Now I take this lilac-tinged shade and again with the little brush from Limoni apply it to the entire eyelid surface. The pearl shade I apply once again with the brush from Limoni under the eyebrow and on the inner shade of the eye—that is, as a sort of a highlighter. And this dark violet shade I apply to the shorter eyelashes. Now I paint the eyelashes with the Indian Ink from Benefit called “They’re real!” This is 3D Indian Ink, and for this look I recommend namely the 3D Indian Ink. Now I curl the eyelashes, I always curl them when I am painting them on. Next, I comb my eyelashes so that they are long, voluminous and very beautiful. On the lips I apply a balm from One Hundred Beauty Secrets in order to moisten our little lips. Over that I suggest you apply either a nude or a light pink pomade. I have this Lip Battery number 55 Cupcake. Well there, basically that’s everything, if you like it, give me a thumbs-up and we’ll see you next time!
*
SCENE TWO
MASHA has been explaining an elaborate online video game, based on the webcomic “Homestuck,” to her mother.
KATYA: The only thing I understood was that last sentence.
MASHA: That’s the point, Mom. That’s why I have to start working on my English.
KATYA: Well, that’s smart. English always comes in handy. You can host tourists.
MASHA: Thanks, by the way, to PAVEL ALEKSANDROVICH.
KATYA: Is he cool?
MASHA: He’s a very good teacher.
KATYA: By the way, you can grab a beer for yourself too.
MASHA: Wow.
KATYA: Well, you’ve become a real grown-up now. We have to celebrate. A holiday for your first blood stains, ha ha! (Sings.) “Her head is all tied up, there’s blood on her stockings, blood spreads on the dewy grass. Oooooo-eeeee, on the dewy grass!”
MASHA: Mom, what the heck was that? Did you learn that in music school?
KATYA: It’s just a song that reveals your age, Masha. Now it’s entirely clear that this young woman is not thirty-five years old.
MASHA: Why are you calling me that? Oh, you mean . . . Christ. It’s horrible.
KATYA: Of course, it’s bad at first—all of that blood. But you’ll get used to it. And now you’ll start becoming more and more beautiful. You’ll be getting, well, a lot of . . . curves. Like a cello. Your waist. And when you put on a bathing suit—all heads will turn.
MASHA: Sure, sure.
KATYA: By the way, I’ve wanted to have a talk with you about sex for a long time. Where children come from and all that.
MASHA: Mom, I know. There’s all sorts of videos on YouTube.
KATYA: About what?
MASHA: Well, like, about . . . childbirth.
KATYA: Oh, in that sense. Well that’s probably okay. And about what leads up to childbirth?
MASHA: And about that too.
KATYA: My god.
MASHA: I’m talking about different videos, for kids, well, films about how all that happens.
KATYA: Okay, that’s fine. And are there some about contraception?
MASHA: Yep.
KATYA: Great. By the way, this beer is excellent. Well fine, go to bed. I’m gonna watch TV.
MASHA: Mom, if there’s a call from school, just, don’t be frightened, okay?
KATYA: Now what happened? More D’s?
MASHA: No, not more D’s.
KATYA: Then what? I have to send money again?
MASHA: No.
KATYA: You’re scaring me.
MASHA: Well, they might tell you that I’m a lesbian.
*
SCENE THREE
LIZA: It’s just that I’ve got to get to tennis, Mr. A. I’m going to be late.
PAVEL: I’m borrowing you for fifteen minutes, you’ll smoke fewer cigarettes.
LIZA: I don’t smoke, I play tennis!
PAVEL: So, Kuznetsova, tell me what’s going on in class.
LIZA: What do you mean? There’s nothing going on. We’re preparing to celebrate International Women’s Day.
PAVEL: What’s the big mystery surrounding Kovalenko?
LIZA: God I don’t know, it’s like, somehow she’s not normal anymore.
PAVEL: Listen, I’m the new guy here. And suddenly they give me your class. In the middle of the year.
LIZA: Rest in peace, Diana Anatolevna.
PAVEL: Right. And I don’t understand anything. Just tell me the whole story, briefly.
LIZA: Well, Kovalenko acts so weird around us. Thinks she’s so special. Doesn’t talk with anyone at all. Basically, she’s strange. One day she makes herself look like a freak. The next day she dresses like a boy. Then she messes around with some sort of cosplay. Basically, she’s strange.
PAVEL: But you’re sort of friends with her, right?
LIZA: Oh, we hung out a little bit. I wouldn’t say we’re friends. I kinda got tired of her. She’s sick somehow, you know? Scratches her arms until they bleed, when she gets upset. Anxiety.
PAVEL: Why did she get kicked out of the locker room during P.E.?
LIZA: Well . . . Well even you’ve noticed, she’s started to dress like a boy. Well, my whole crew, I mean, all the girls, we, that is, we said: if you’re gonna dress like a boy, then go to their locker room. We’re all normal here. We don’t need perverts hanging around.
PAVEL: And how did you determine that she’s a pervert? You think because she wears jeans? Lots of women dress that way.
LIZA: Well, she’s started to act like that in lots of ways . . . Wearing a baseball cap, like the guys do . . . Even the way she’s walking now is sort of like the guys . . .
PAVEL: Wait a minute, I don’t understand. So just—
LIZA: Look Mr. A, we found out. People at school wrote it online. That she’s a pervert.
PAVEL: And, is it possible that that’s a pack of lies?
LIZA: I know for sure.
PAVEL: How? How do you know?
LIZA: I know. She tried to kiss me. On the lips.
PAVEL: Okay, Liza, wait a minute. Now the thing that happened with her behind the school, well . . . is that also connected to this?
LIZA: Well, the guys wanted to have a regular conversation with her. What is she really like, what is she planning to do, is she going to become normal or not.
PAVEL: And then what?
LIZA: She started to fight.
PAVEL: She did?
LIZA: That’s all, I have to go to tennis.
PAVEL: Wait a minute, what about . . .
LIZA: Tomorrow! I cannot be late.
LIZA walks away.
*
SCENE FOUR. VIDEO BLOG
MASHA: Hi there! My name is Masha. I live in a resort town called Chernomorsk. You’ve all heard about our town, right? Chernomorsk—the city of joy, Chernomorsk—the city of youth. The rays of the sun reach out to you, and it’s as if they are insisting that you drop everything and take a vacation with us, here in our town on the shore of the Black Sea. And sure enough you come, to rejuvenate, as they say, body and soul. But now I’m going to tell you about the real Chernomorsk. Subscribe to my channel, and you’ll always be in the know! And so, here are the top three news flashes from our resort town:
One. A polluted sea. The administration of our town doesn’t want to spend money on infrastructure, especially on new canal pipes. In theory, they should run far out into the sea, and their contents should pass through powerful filters and come out on the other side in a purified form and, more importantly—it should all be stored deep under water. In fact, these pipes don’t go very far or very deep at all, they are old and dilapidated, the filters wore out a long time ago, and all of it ends up in the sea. The sea is becoming sick—it’s growing what they call duckweed, a form of surface algae. In a way this algae helps the sea to survive, but because of it the oxygen gets depleted, and that causes useful, perennial deep-sea plants and fish to die. Yet online they lie to you, tell you that our duckweed is “thalassotherapy” and extremely good for your health. Don’t believe them, they are deceiving you. Swimming in sea rot is not good for you.
Two. Trash. There is a ton of trash here. First there is the visual trash. The architecture of this town is monstrously ugly: these sheds and so-called homes are right out of Mordor. The naked mermaids and caryatids were sculpted, I think, by a soul-sick butcher, in order to discredit all of humanity for visitors from other planets. And look at all the signs on our stores—just don’t look too long, or you might go insane. Here is a courtyard: our grandmothers played on these very swings; the scrap-metal playsets became worthless long ago. Take a look at the trash-pits in the courtyards. The residents fill them with rocks and all sorts of crap. Now it may be that you’ve come for the sea and don’t want to look at our courtyards—fine! The trash of the sandy beaches is buried for you in a variety of forms—cigarette butts, peach pits, glass from broken bottles. And at night the drug addicts come by, and they leave their syringes and needles right here. But there’s also trash in the form of sounds—every ten feet you’ll hear a new jailhouse song. Or some soul-crushing pop music. Twenty or thirty years ago there was a singer named Marina Zhuravlohva: “ . . . but making love on a marina is sweeter / Marinas—they aren’t found everywhere / When we part it’s like gulping saltwater / Marinas are sprouting everywhere!” So then, Marina Zhuravlohva has settled in our Chernomorsk permanently, in the form of her brilliant songs. But coming to meet you are pot-bellied zombies, one after another, sunburnt and drunk from morning to night, half-naked and gloomy as hell. The zombie women are wrapped in synthetic nets like sarongs. And they all chew on sunflower seeds and use foul language in public. This is what is waiting for you in the season ahead.
Three. Getting accosted by people with animals in their hands. This happens to absolutely everyone. They come up to you and ask if you want a picture with their little pet. They need money to feed him, and he’s so sweet. Whether you want to or not—they hand you their little crocodile, or monkey, or parrot. It’s bad for the animals, they’re feverish and unhappy, they’re about to die, they’ve crapped themselves. But they cannot die, while their owners are earning money for beer and cigarettes. And it works. It’s a terrible form of slavery, a real tragedy. In general, animals in Chernomorsk have it very bad. Take a look at the cats—there’re tons of them, but what kind of life do they have? They’re starving and they give birth to their kittens right in the street, out in the cold, under the feet of passersby. Then dogs come and eat the kittens—they even eat the full-grown cats. Anything can mutilate a cat, knock out their eyes. But there are so many cats, why should we care? Those cats that survive become human beings.
