For this week’s Translation Tuesday, inexplicable shapeshifting, bad table service, tangible numerals, and a loving friendship that defies spatial logic are on the menu in “Heimat who Lives in a Box,” written and translated from the German by A.E. Sadeghipour. In this surreal microfiction, a dinner date is marred by embarrassment and a rude (and seemingly inhuman) waitstaff. Sadeghipour’s ability to flout realism while preserving the conventions of the short narrative leads us to a conclusion that is both ironic and “happily ever after”-esque.
My friend Heimat lives in a box which she wears everywhere we go. It constantly causes conflicts when making dinner reservations. The last time we made a dinner reservation and crossed the threshold of the restaurant, she grew larger than the door and continuously banged into the door frame. She grew embarrassed and shriveled down into a matchbox. I picked her up, kissed her, walked in, and was escorted to our table.
The service was horrible or maybe we were never supposed to be there. The other guests closed their eyes as they ate, and the waitstaff’s heads were always transfixed on our position regardless of where their bodies were moving. When the food arrived, it was cold and had a hair in it.
I signaled the waiter to explain the poor state of the meal.
“Nicht mein Problem,” they retorted and handed me the check.
I looked at the total as the numbers fell off the table. I whispered to Heimat who opened her matchbox, and I climbed in and fell asleep. When I awoke and climbed out, the restaurant was closed and everyone was gone.
Translated from the German by A.E. Sadeghipour
A.E. Sadeghipour is an Iranian-American writer. She co-runs the Women Writing Berlin Lab (WWBL), and is the co-founder of the Berlin Diaspora Society. She teaches workshops for GLADT, WWBL, and the Feminist Film Week, and is the recipient of the Sherry Debrowski Prize for Best Feminist Multi-Genre Fiction. Her work has appeared in Seven Countries Poetry Anthology, The Wild Word: Dream a Little Dream, Berlin and Her places, V Series Poetry Anthology, Berlin Untelevised, COVEN Berlin, What’s Afghan Punk Rock Anyway?!, and Literarische Diverse, among other publications. More of her work can be found at: https://awerfjil.com/.
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